Kids Say...Part 2 or 3?

A few days ago Jordan said to Sasha, "Sasha, you're so cute. You're the cutest girl I ever saw." And she replied, "Yeah."

Thinking of cute things my kids say reminded me of something Sasha said this past spring. My friend Beth was watching the kids for me while I was interviewing some people for an article I was writing. When I came to pick them up, the first thing Sasha said was, "Mom, Bethie touched my butt." Turned out, Sasha had a dirty diaper and Beth had changed her. It was hilarious. I guess I don't need to worry about Sasha keeping any "bad touch" incidents to herself at any rate!

Jordan's Favorites

One of the things that makes me happy is reading kids' writing when they're just learning. Lately one of the best parts of my day is when Jordan shows me what he brought home from school in his folder. I love finding out what's going on in his head. Here's a few samples with captions (in case you have a hard time reading them).


My favorite things to do
1. Play the wii
2. Play
3. Go to parties


My Favorite Food
1. cheese burger
2. mac and cheese
3. pizza
4. ketchup
5. ice cream
6. turkey

Sasha's Third Birthday

The best thing about warm Novembers is going to the park for Sasha's birthday (this was our second year in a row). I felt bad because "the big day" was none too fun. Sasha was recovering from a fever (meaning mommy wouldn't let her have any sugar) and both Justin and I had to work, so the only time we were together was at breakfast. We did sing Happy Birthday before Jordan left for school, and I managed to dig up a gold party hat and three yellow balloons (the last ones in the party box). We didn't even have her present because we decided to get her a sled and Target (the only store we'd had time to look at) didn't have them in stock yet. Luckily, by Sunday the 7th, which was the first day we had time to celebrate, Sasha was feeling better and the weather was beautiful. Our friends Pete and Beth came over with their two little girls, Mae and Violet and we went to the park. The kids had lots of fun playing in the leaves while the guys played football and Beth and I talked (what else?). Then we came home for supper, cake and presents. Sasha got some new ponies and her own chapstick from the Rozaks (she opened that before we went to the park, and it shows up in almost all the pictures since she wouldn't let me hold on to it for her). I managed to find a very reasonably priced sled at Farm and Fleet, as well as a little red snow shovel and a My Little Pony puzzle. Sasha loves puzzles so much right now that she'll often inform me that she's done all of her puzzles, and ask to do some of Jordan's. Anyway, we had a great time and got some pretty good pictures too!

Sasha on the slide.

Mae & Sasha, ready to go.

Made it to the bottom!

Putting leaves on Violet.

Jordan joins in.

Indian Summer?

Today was such a good day. I got a lot accomplished with a minimum of stress and whining. Admin. asst. work, freelance work, two loads of laundry, made Jordan's bday party invitations, dishes, remembered to give Jordan his allowance and have him take a shower, balanced my checkbook, paid bills, swept out the garage and some other stuff. The best part of the day was after lunch. Since the weather was nice I forced myself to take Sasha for a walk. We went on my favorite walk through downtown, through the cemetery and then to Smithfield Park. Even if it was cloudy, it was a gorgeous fall day with lots of crunchy leaves everywhere. At the park I decided to do some yoga while Sasha played. Don't know why that's never occurred to me before. So I did a Pilates exercise for my imaginary abs, four repetitions of salute to the sun, and every other yoga pose I could think of for about twenty minutes. It was relaxing, invigorating and made me feel both somewhat kooky and fairly cool. Then we finished up with a few underducks on the swing for her and a few leaps off the moving swing for me. Now I wonder how hard it is to do yoga in full snow gear?

I Like Quizzes, But...

Jordan has recently taken to p0lling the family on a variety of topics as a stalling tactic anytime he's supposed to be accomplishing things. I think it irritates me more than anyone else, particularly because his favorite time to do it is when I'm trying to eat. Questions range from "Mom, what's your favorite color?" to "Mom, what do you think the smallest animal in the world is?" to "Mom, what is your least favorite food?". Of course, he asks me the same questions day after day too, and I'm expected to then in turn ask him his favorite/least favorite/etc. whatever. The other day he informed me, word for word, "My least favorite color is tan. Even though I like tan on my skin, that doesn't necessarily mean..."

Speaking of skin color, for a while last year Jordan was very into talking about differences in skin color. Any time the kids bring up differences between people we respond by saying, "Yep, God made everybody different." So while they realize that people are different colors "like crayons" as Jordan used to say, they don't realize that this is a touchy subject for some people. Anyway, before Jordan started kindergarten he was speculating on what the kids in his class might be like, and wondering if any of them would be "brown" like his friend Rolly who is Hispanic. Last year some new neighbors (who happen to be black) moved in across the street. Jordan was really excited to see that they had some children and told me all about the "kids with color skin" (a description he fabricated all on his own) across the street. While I'm reluctant to explain political correctness and racial sensitivity to him because I prefer to have him think about people without regards to their race, I do hope he learns to be more circumspect before he gets his little white butt kicked.

No Flu Shot For Us

Although H1N1 is rumored to be more severe than a typical flu, the CDC’s own data shows that hospitalization and death rates are lower for H1N1 than those for seasonal flu. Vaccine manufacturers stand to make billions of dollars by selling these vaccines (an excellent reason for their fear-mongering). The few short term tests done on these vaccines did not include the adjuvants (immune boosters) that are added to the vaccines before distribution, some of which have been shown to be associated with very high incidences of devastating autoimmune diseases. Because this vaccine has been fast-tracked, many of the usual safety precautions used to prevent contamination of the vaccines have been overlooked by the regulatory agencies. According to a number of studies, vaccine contamination is widespread, with vaccines containing pestivirus, mycoplasma, viral fragments, DNA fragments and bacterial components, all of which can produce chronic systemic disorders, cancer, neurologic diseases and even slow brain degeneration. Ingredients in flu shots include Polysorbate 80 (which can cause severe allergic reactions, including anaphylaxis), formaldehyde (a known carcinogen), resin (known to cause allergic reactions), Aluminum (a neurotoxin that has been linked to Alzheimer’s disease), Phenol (a suspected carcinogen which may cause harmful effects on the central nervous system, heart, liver and kidneys, especially with repeated exposure), and Ethylene glycol (antifreeze). Thimerosal (mercury, which is implicated in Alzheimer’s disease and autism) is still included in multi-dose vials of flu vaccine. Each dose from one of these vials contains more than 250 times the Environmental Protection Agency’s safety limit for mercury. A recent study published in the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine found that "significant influenza vaccine effectiveness could not be demonstrated for any season, age, or setting examined”.

As Time Goes By

People keep asking me how I'm doing. "Fine, OK, alright, good, hanging in there," I say. And I am all of those things. What I don't say is, "I feel guilty." How can I live my life as though everything is normal when Miriam and Eric have had someone so precious torn from their life? How can I ask my kids to be quiet so I can read (a Harry Potter book for the 5th or so time) instead of making the most of every minute I'm blessed to have them here with me? How can I want to laugh when I hear Sasha insisting that Jordan and/or "Tiny Baby" have to pretend to be sick and die and Jordan protesting that he doesn't want to play that when I was, am, and will continue to be devastated by the death of my tiny niece and know that they miss her too? I remind myself that I didn't see Hailey daily, weekly, or even every month and so my daily life has never revolved around her and won't now. I know I have a family to care for and work to do and can't function if I continue as I was: crying at the drop of a hat, with a headache that wouldn't quit, and with a barrage of thoughts, images and feelings that wouldn't let me sleep at night. I know that the faith I have that God has taken Hailey to her heavenly home is what enables me to cope. And I know that I won't be "fine" every minute of every day. So many things bring Hailey to mind. I know that even if I try to push it all away, I'll continue to break down from time to time. I like Sasha's way of handling things. When Hailey was sick we were praying for her every night at bedtime. Being as much a creature of habit as all little ones, each night Sasha asks to say a prayer for Hailey. And so every night we thank God for bringing Hailey to be with him in heaven where she will always be happy. And Sasha goes to bed happy too.

A Letter to Miss Hailey Mae

Dear Hailey,
I will never forget the day your mother told me she was pregnant with you. When she asked me to take a walk with her I knew what she was going to say. I felt joy that our family was going to be blessed with another baby, but I knew that your mom and dad would have a hard road ahead of them. I never could have imagined just how hard it would be.

When your mama had your ultrasound and told us she was having a little girl I was so excited. I could picture you and Sasha playing dolls and dress up together, growing up together, talking about boys together, staying close when you had children of your own. I had so much fun planning your baby shower, crocheting your tiny pink hat and passing on the clothes that Sasha had outgrown.

We were all impatient for you to be born. Those hours and hours in the hospital were some of the longest of my life. I was so proud of your mama; her strength and endurance amazed me. And I saw how much your daddy loved both of you, how scared he was for you, and how joyful when you were safely delivered.

For the last nineteen months you’ve been our family’s baby. Miss Hailey Mae, adored by cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents alike. You were always cheerful, unless you were missing your mama and daddy. I’ll never forget your smile, the way you pointed to everyone you saw, asking who they were and showing that you were glad to see them, or how you loved to twine anyone and everyone’s hair around your little fingers.

I wish I had spent more time with you while you were here and made more time for Jordan, Sasha and Karlye to play with you. They were always so excited to see you. It was so much fun when you and your mama would come stay overnight with us when your daddy was away for work.

Memories from your last days here on earth overwhelm me. Hailey looking so sick on Labor Day. Hailey in the hospital hooked up to IVs and monitors. The nurse joking while she brought in your tiny little bag of blood. Hailey, so sedated after surgery, forcing her eyes open to smile at Sasha and me while maintaining a death grip on her juice. Hailey finally up and around, playing so seriously with play dough and markers. Hailey at home the day before you left us, rubbing my back but slapping my hand away when I tried to touch yours. You playing with Sasha’s hair while she played with yours. Hailey waving goodbye one last time.

Thank you Hailey for the nineteen months you gave us. Your life and death has touched everyone who knew you and many who didn’t. All of us who love you will carry a hole in our hearts that will never be filled on this earth. To me, the wait seems long and heaven far away. But you are home, held in God’s loving hands. We praise God that you have been blessed with eternal joy and peace, no more sorrow, no more pain, and we know that we will see you again one day.
Love, Your Auntie Hannah

Miss Hailey Mae

Sasha and Hailey on the 4th of July

From last Monday when I saw how ill my 18-month-old niece Hailey was, to Thursday when she was diagnosed with leukemia, to tonight when we received the news that the cancer hasn't spread to her spinal fluid, I've gone through a wide range of emotions. Some of them were expected - gut-wrenching fear, helplessness, grief, thankfulness after today's news. Others were unexpected. I never thought that even a diagnosis of cancer would be a relief from the terror of not knowing what was wrong or if anything could be done. I didn't know I and others around me even more affected by the situation could find so many things to be sincerely thankful for. I've never witnessed first hand such an immense outpouring of support and love for a young family. I hadn't realized how one word could erase all of my trivial worries and help me focus on what's truly important. I forgot until I saw Jordan's sorrow and fear for his cousin, and the care Sasha took to be quiet and gentle when we visited the hospital how much children can understand and how strong their love for one another can be. As Hailey struggles for health, as Miriam and Eric struggle for strength and patience and hope, and as all of us who love Hailey struggle to come to terms with her illness, I thank God for the many ways he has blessed us all and I pray that I forget none of the lessons that I'm learning.

To see updates on Hailey and offer support visit https://www.carepages.com/carepages/HaileysCarePage

To learn more about more about acute lymphoblastic leukemia visit http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acute_lymphoblastic_leukemia

Although at this point Hailey does not need a bone marrow transplant, many leukemia patients are waiting desperately for a donor. To read an article I wrote that has some information on bone marrow transplants and the Bone Marrow Registry visit http://www.stoughtonnews.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=2&ArticleID=634

Stinking Splint!

This is why I shouldn't write about things when they're going well - I jinx myself. Yesterday, a week and a half away from Jordan's x-ray appointment, his patched splint popped it's patch. Jordan thinks the wheelies he was popping at the time are to blame, even though he didn't fall down or anything. Surprisingly, driving to UW Hospital for casting, cast removal, x-rays and splint fixing is not my favorite thing to do. Especially now that no matter which way I go to get there I'm confronted by major construction and stand still traffic. So I called Jordan's doctor to see if we could get in early for x-rays and maybe ditch the splint altogether, but that was a no-go. So, since he starts school and soccer tomorrow and I'm not interested in taking any chances, we made another emergency trip to occupational therapy where they fixed his splint with super glue (they were out of Bondo). Granted they used some type of heating device to remold it a bit and tack the layers of plastic together a little better, but I think Justin could have super-glued the thing at home. Anyway, we're good to go for tomorrow, and hopefully this patch job will last til x-rays next week.

Jordan's Arm

If you're reading this, chances are you know that Jordan has had a broken arm for most of the past 9 months. But since I'm as tired of answering the questions "What happened to his arm?" and "How is Jordan's arm?" as he is of hearing me say "Where's your splint?", "Settle down, you don't have your split on." and "Go put your splint on." I thought I'd address the issue publicly, so to speak.

Last November Jordan broke his right arm. Justin was giving him an "airplane ride" and he fell. He screamed and cried and carried on (not helped by me blurting out, "Did he break it? I heard something crack." as soon as he fell). We hemmed and hawed, finally decided it looked swollen and he seemed to be in real pain, and headed to Urgent Care. He got a splint and a sling, then one week in a cast, then six weeks in another cast, then another splint. By March or so he was really restless, practically left-handed, and cleared to run and play with no splint. Things were all good until May when he got kicked in the arm while having a bear crawl race with the neighbor boys. He came inside crying and saying he heard his arm crack. Another trip to Urgent Care, another splint and sling, a baffled orthopedic doctor (baffled because the x-rays showed that he healed well and had no reason to break the same arm in the same place, and because he didn't have nearly enough pain or swelling for a true break, although the x-rays showed a break) and another four weeks in a cast. Then, to be on the safe side, another four weeks in a different cast. Then four weeks in a splint. Then approximately his millionth set of x-rays. The verdict as of mid-July? He's healing well, but slowly. He's got only minor range of motion issues related to the extra bone growth around the break site which will thin down over time. Better safe than sorry. Eight more weeks wearing a splint "when he's active" (a.k.a. any time he's awake), then more x-rays. That was five weeks ago. Last week the his custom-made, took two hours of my time at the hospital waiting to get it made splint cracked practically in half where it bends around his elbow. We made an emergency trip back to occupational therapy (where the waiting room contains nothing remotely interesting to children) to have the splint reinforced. So now, we wait...and try to think of creative things to do with the two slings, one cast, one plaster splint, one plastic long arm splint and one shorter plastic splint we'll still have hanging around the house when he's all done with this.

Free Fruit!

On Monday my boss told me that there were all kinds of blackberries along the Ice Age Trail between Brooklyn and Belleville. I love berries, and free blackberries aren't something I can easily pass up. Late in the afternoon Justin, Sasha and I went out to pick some berries. Sasha immediately fell down and scratched one leg up pretty badly, so she was relegated to picking up fallen apples by the wild apple tree. Justin and I braved the thickets and got quite a few berries. Justin also got quite a few scratches, while I was covered in mosquito bites. The three jars of no-cook freezer jam I made the next day made it all worth while though. We also froze a lot of blackberries. Now if I could just figure out what to do with all the sour wild apples and even sourer wild grapes growing along the trail I'd be even happier. Foraging for food is fun (as long as you don't have to rely on it for survival)!

Insomnia

Here it is, 3:42 AM and I'm awake. Again. Still. Not sure how long I've been awake. I try not to look at the clock, but eventually I give in. I'm guessing 2, 3 hours. Tonight I woke up with a jerk from some dream. Don't remember much about it except that it made me nervous. Anxious when I was asleep, now I'm too anxious to drift back. Tried to empty my mind, relax my body, think about something else. My eyes kept popping open, and I couldn't slow my breathing. So here I am. Feel sorry for the kids. Mom will be a witch tomorrow. The thought of waking up and staying awake for hours almost half the nights of the rest of my life is daunting. Not sure how I came to this, or what I can do to fix it. Tomorrow, or later today I guess, I will stumble around in a fog. Wondering why I'm so exhausted until I remember the hours I spent fighting to go back to sleep. Then I'll do it all over again tomorrow night or the next night or the next. It's been like this for a year, maybe two, or three? I think I slept most of the night every night for a week back in July. That was nice. I should take the time to do some research, come up with a plan, but I can't seem to motivate myself. Justin said, "What's wrong with you? You should go to the doctor." But what can he do? He and I both know I have anxiety issues. He suggests daily exercise, join a yoga class, go for a walk. I try, but I'm not a stick to it, make yourself do it kind of person. And I'm really not a fan of prescription drugs either. So here I am. Stuck. 4:03 in the morning.

I've Gone Nuts!

After years of reading and re-reading books, magazines and blogs dedicated to the subject of healthy and environmentally friendly living, noting the suggestion to stop using laundry detergent and start washing my clothes with soap nuts, thinking there was no way that could work and purchasing another expensive bottle of Seventh Generation laundry detergent (the only kind that didn't give Jordan a major eczema breakout), I've taken the plunge. Between this blog entry and this one I became convinced that this was something I had to try. So I headed to NaturOli and bought a sample pack of soap nuts. So far I've done three loads of laundry with them, and they seem to be working at least as well as the Seventh Generation detergent. Soap nuts can be used whole, ground into a powder, or liquefied for use as laundry detergent, all purpose household cleaner, shampoo, etc. For the laundry, I'm leaving the soap nuts whole. My sample pack came with a cloth bag containing five nuts. All I have to do is toss them in the washer with the clothes (after soaking in hot water for three minutes if I'm doing a cold water wash), then take the soap nuts out with the clean laundry and hang the bag with the nuts in up to dry so they don't get moldy. The soap nuts can be reused approximately five times. When they're used up, I'll throw them in the compost pile. Soap nuts grow on trees, are healthy, economical, and kind of fun to use. I would encourage all of you to go nuts with your laundry!

Hard To Believe, But True

Last night I was at the computer (working on this blog actually) while Jordan was getting ready for bed. He had just gone to the bathroom when he came over and informed me that his butt hurt. So I told him to bend over so I could see if anything was wrong. While he's bent over pantsless and I'm leaning over to see what's going on, our neighbor walks up to the front (screen) door to let us know that he put Jordan's bike by our garage door. So he gets a lovely view of me inspecting my son's butt. I started laughing hysterically, told Jordan it looked fine, but he could put some ointment on it if he wanted and thanked the neighbor. Meanwhile, Jordan looked up, startled, fell over and crawled behind the coffee table to put his butt out of view.

Later, Justin and I were having a friendly discussion regarding the dishes, and their need to be done on a regular basis. I maintained that I have been doing them most of the time lately, and he seemed to think that wasn't true (I knew I was right though). Then, he had the nerve to say that I should do them more often because I use more dishes. Yeah, I use more dishes than he does because I cook most of our meals! And then he added that I should also do the dishes more often because I feed the kids more often! Men!!! (I do have to admit though, that he saw the error of his reasoning, and we both had a good laugh).

Diapers For Sale

*Note - If you are easily offended by hearing about #1's, #2's, or the use of the word "potty" in place of the more formal "toilet" do not read this post.

Not to brag or anything (okay, yes, I am bragging), but Sasha has been officially fully potty-trained since about mid-June. That's right, day-time, night-time, at home, in public, no more "little potty" potty-trained. Although she still sometimes has accidents during the day when she doesn't quite make it to the toilet in time, or forgets to "scootch" back enough (causing pee to shoot out between the toilet and the toilet seat), she's never wet the bed. Sometimes she wakes up and cries until we take her to the bathroom, some nights she sleeps through. In case you couldn't tell, this makes me really really proud and really really happy. Not only are we saving probably $75 a month on diapers and what felt like hours a day changing diapers, but I can now leave the house with only my purse (as long as it contains a child-approved snack). Sasha even used the outhouse without much complaint on a recent camping trip, and after many failed attempts, managed to go #2 in the grass along the Kickapoo River while we were canoeing. Luckily there was a field full of cows nearby, and I convinced her that she should poop in the grass the way cows do. I give most of the tribute for her stellar training experience to the cloth diapers we used most of the time. She definitely knew when she was wet, and she definitely didn't want to be. I suppose the rest of the tribute goes to the fact that she's a girl. I remember that most of my sisters trained pretty easily, and Karlye was fully potty-trained by the time she started staying overnight at our house when she was two and a half. Jordan, on the other hand, didn't pee in the pot until he was at least three years old, and then insisted on pooping in a diaper until he was three and a half. I was afraid he wouldn't be able to start pre-school if he didn't get a move on. Poor Sasha doesn't start pre-school until a year from this fall, and can't wait to go.

Kids Say...

Karlye thinks the peacocks at the Milwaukee Zoo are in the enclosures with the other animals to watch over them. (Can I get a peacock to babysit my kids?)

Jordan loves pie and dinosaurs so much that he coined himself a "pie-ranasaurus".

Sasha calls the zoo the "kazoo", calls Grandpa Jake's Gator utility vehicle the "Gatorade", and calls parades "kaprades".

My Baby's A Big Girl

I've suspected that Sasha's been having nightmares for a while now, and last night confirmed it. I was in bed sound asleep when all of a sudden at 12:30 I hear Sasha start to cry over the baby monitor. The crying quickly escalated to screaming, and then I heard her thump out of bed and run for the door. I went upstairs and she was laying against the bedroom door sobbing "I'm scared of spiders" over and over and over again. I told her it was a bad dream, tucked her into bed, succumbed to her request for "one last more song", and allowed her to put me into a stranglehold while I sang so that she would feel secure. It would have been funny, except for the big tears running down her tiny chubby cheeks. It's too bad kids start to have bad dreams just when you finally have them sleeping through the night, and coming downstairs on their own in the morning.

In other "big girl" news, Sasha's high chair is posted on Craig's List, as she's been eating (relatively) neatly in a booster at the table for a month or so now. And, the most exciting change of all - she's almost completely potty trained! No accidents for a week or so, and she only wears diapers at bedtime. She says she's old enough to wear her big girl underpants to bed but the sopping wet diaper I change every morning says otherwise. Maybe it's time to take the sippy cup full of water out of her bed, but then she'd whine all night about being thirsty...

Swiffer Wetjets

Another email from my mom. We got a Swiffer or a Clorox Readymop or something several years ago because Justin hated how nasty our other mop was getting and wanted something disposable. We both thought the smell of the cleaning pads was overwhelming, and I hate chemical cleaners and disposable products in general, so we compromised. We kept the mop, but instead of the cleaning pads they sell in the store we use an old sock with the mop and a spray bottle of homemade cleaning solution (1 cup water, 1 cup vinegar, and 15 drops essential oil which is optional). Then we just toss the sock in the wash after each use.

>>>Recently someone had to have their 5-year old German shepherd dog put down due to liver failure. The dog was completely healthy until a few weeks ago, so they had a necropsy done to see what the cause was. The liver levels were unbelievable, as if the dog had ingested poison of some kind. The dog is kept inside, and when he's outside, someone's with him, so the idea of him getting into something unknown was hard to believe. My neighbor started going through all the items in the house. When he got to the Swiffer Wetjet, he noticed, in very tiny print, a warning which stated 'May be harmful to small children and animals!' He called the company to ask what the contents of the cleaning agent are and was astounded to find out that antifreeze is one of the ingredients (actually, he was told it's a compound which is one molecule away from antifreeze). Therefore, just by the dog walking on the floor cleaned with the solution, then licking its own paws, it ingested enough of the solution to destroy its liver. Soon after his dog's death, his housekeepers' two cats also died of liver failure. They both used the Swiffer Wetjet for quick cleanups on their floors. Necropsies weren't done on the cats, so they couldn't file a lawsuit, but he asked that we spread the word to as many people as possible so they don't lose their animals. This is equally harmful to babies and small children that play on the floor a lot and put their fingers in their mouths a lot.

Baby Carrots

My mom emailed me this information. I don't buy baby carrots anyway (except sometimes organic ones for a party), because whole carrots are less wasteful and more cost effective (also the greens are good for you). Anyway, this doesn't surprise me in the least, but it is good to know.

> >>> >> The following is information from a farmer who grows and packages carrots for IGA, METRO, LOBLAWS, etc. The small cocktail (baby) carrots you buy in small plastic bags are made using the larger crooked or deformed carrots which are put through a machine which cuts and shapes them into cocktail carrots. Most people probably know this already. What you may not know and should know is the following: once the carrots are cut and shaped into cocktail carrots they are dipped in a solution of water and chlorine in order to preserve them (this is the same chlorine used in your pool) since they do not have their skin or natural protective covering, they give them a higher dose of chlorine. You will notice that once you keep these carrots in your refrigerator for a few days, a white covering will form on the carrots, this is the chlorine which resurfaces. At what cost do we put our health at risk to have esthetically pleasing vegetables which are practically plastic? We do hope that this information can be passed on to as many people as possible in the hopes of informing them where these carrots come from and how they are processed. Chlorine is a very well known carcinogen (cancer causing agent).

A Day In The Life...

(Got this idea from a friend's Facebook post.) Wouldn't it be fun to get a peek into what others do on any given day? Today, tell us what you did! All the details. Here is mine from yesterday:


6:00 - Alarm goes off. Turn if off and decide to sleep until it's time to get Jordan up. Reset alarm for 6:45.

6:15 - Decide I won't be able to get back to sleep, and I really need to get some freelance work done. Drag myself out of bed and turn on the computer. Check email, start this blog entry and transcribe notes from interviewing the Nelson brothers (twin dentists) on their retirement from their Oregon dental practice.

6:50 - Go upstairs, wake up Jordan and tell him to get dressed. Continue transcribing notes.

7:10 - Make Jordan breakfast (oatmeal with cherries). Continue transcribing notes.

7:20 - Finish with dental interview notes. Reply to an email from the Banana Lady (a freelance client) and do a little freelance book-keeping.

7:30 - Supervise Jordan's final preparations to school and send him outside to wait for the bus. It's pouring but he insists on waiting outside rather than in the garage. I can't send him with an umbrella because the school considers them dangerous.

7:45 - Check Facebook, make tea, and get Sasha up when she starts yelling for me. Get her in her high chair and give her the rest of the oatmeal. Throw some hamburger soup together in the crock pot for supper since I've got to take Jordan to the dentist late this afternoon. Wash Sasha's hands and face. Start the dishwasher.

8:30 - Change Sasha's diaper and get her dressed (she insists on eating breakfast in her pj's every day now). Go through the whole list of shows that are on that she's allowed to watch, and start the recorded episode of Peep that she finally chooses. Clean up the kitchen. Read part of the Practicing Hospitality book I'm reading for an online book discussion group while drinking my tea and eating the leftover oatmeal. More Facebook.

9:00 - Go through the whole TV show selection thing again with Sasha, settling on a recorded episode of Veggie Tales in the end. Give her the "this is your last show for the morning" warning. Get dressed, brush teeth, use dental pick in lieu of floss, rinse with homemade calendula mouth rinse, comb and straighten hair in an effort to remove weird bumps caused by sleeping on damp hair. Spend several minutes trying to decide if getting a hair cut qualifies as a necassary expense with Justin facing lay-off in May. Check email and decide to reply to a few Facebook posts later and get some things done around the house now.

9:30 - Go through fridge, freezers and cupboards to see what food we have and what we need. Edit meal plan and grocery list file accordingly; print it out. Do laundry. Sasha helps until she gets bored, says "I done helping now" and goes off to play. Answer an email from Ann checking to make sure I made it home alright from the airport Sunday night. Skin and chop the frozen tomatoes (from last summer's garden) I got out this morning now that they are partially thawed and add them to the crock pot. Wash the knife and cutting board and leave them out to dry.

10:30 - Check Outlook To Do list. Fill a pitcher with water and set it out to warm up so I can change the water in the goldfish bowl later. Back up My Documents file to my flash drive.

10:45 - Heat up leftover Mexican casserole and open a can of pineapple for lunch. Put Sasha in her high chair, eat, and try to convince her to eat the casserole after she demolishes the pineapple.

11:00 - Hang another load of wet laundry up to dry, keep feeding Sasha, clean the kitchen.

11:30 - Get Sasha out, wash her up, clean the high chair, give her the "you have 5 minutes to poop and pee before I change your diaper warning".

11:40 - Finally give up and change the diaper, even though she hasn't pooped yet. Leave for work.

12:00 - Put Sasha down for her nap in my boss's bedroom. Work - processing orders, sending renewal reminders, going over the extra things I need to know how to do when he's on vacation for 3 weeks, answer emails, issue registration codes, deal with past due invoices, etc.

2:15 - Sasha wakes up. Go get her and pack up the pack-n-play. Go back down to finish backing up the files. Leave. Go to the grocery store.

3:10 - Get home, put away groceries, eat a quick snack and tell Jordan to brush his teeth when he finishes the snack Justin gave him.

4:00 - Drive to the dentist. Make Jordan's next 6 month appt. even though I have no idea if we'll have dental insurance in 6 months. Wait.

5:00 - Drive home. It's pouring and I can hardly see anything. Jordan goes on and on about the two prizes he got from the dentist.

5:30 - Shovel in a bowl of hamburger soup and some cheese and bread with butter. Make fruit smoothies for everyone. Make blender waffle batter and leave to sit out overnight (per the recipe which requires soaking the grains to remove the phytates, whatever those are).

6:15 - Drive to the Oregon Library for my Healthy Moms meeting. It's raining even harder now. Check out a few books and then go to the meeting. This month's topic is juicing and sprouting. Drink fresh wheatgrass juice, fresh orange/apple juice, homemade kombucha (a fermented tea), and two different kinds of Mona Vie while discussing various things and joking about doing "shots" at the library.

8:30 - Drive to Beth's house (in Oregon). Still raining. Hold baby Violet and talk.

10:00 - Drive home. Still pouring. Finish the Amanda Quick book I'm reading for the 10th time at least while eating cold bacon. Turn on HGTV and watch the end of some show while eating a piece of chocolate and half a piece of bread and butter.

10:35 - Wake up Justin (who is asleep on the couch). Set alarm for 6:45 even though I know I should set it for 6:00 to do some freelance work before the kids get up. Brush teeth and go to bed.

What A Week

So, here I am, typing away at 2:30 in the morning when I should be sleeping. This week really dragged me down. It started with a really busy weekend, which was fun but not at all restful. Saturday we went to a pancake breakfast in Albany, then took the kids to the bank. We decided that Jordan and Karlye are old enough to have an allowance ($1.50 a week, split 3 ways between church, savings, and spending - woo hoo!) and to start learning to manage their money. In preparation we emptied their piggy banks and had them deposit the money in the "big bank". It was even more fun and educational than I had planned because they got to go in the back with the teller and watch all of their change be counted. Then it was off to the mall to play and eat lunch; then we picked up Marta and Micah and went home. Justin and I had league bowling in the evening, and I bowled my best game ever, a 149, topping my pathetic 91 average by an impressive 50 points. Since it was Valentine's Day, we went out to eat afterwards, and then we came home and crawled into bed. Jordan was up half the night throwing up, but was fine the next morning so we all went to church. Then we drove to Janesville and spent the afternoon with Lydia, Brandon and the boys before dropping Karlye off in Monroe. By the time we got home it was 7 o'clock (bedtime for the kids) and we still hadn't eaten supper. Monday evening Jordan came down with a fever, Wednesday Justin had a root canal, I spent the week fighting cramps, a headache, and a sore throat, and Friday Sasha started sneezing, coughing, and feeling miserable while we were going going going running errands, etc. Friday night we switched Sasha from her crib into her "big girl" toddler bed so that some friends who recently had a baby could have the crib, and that went surprisingly well. She stayed in bed all night, and well after she was awake in the morning, not actually getting out until I went upstairs to get her dressed and she asked for and received permission to get out of bed. Then today, or I guess now it would be yesterday, Justin spend most of the day at Pitcher's Pub participating in Bar Olympics. I had a 3 hour team meeting with a freelance client I've been doing a lot of work for lately, which happened to be at the same time Jordan was supposed to be at a pool party. We also got several inches of snow which needed to be shoveled before I could leave the house. Thankfully my mom was able to come out and watch Sasha, and at the last minute the pool party was rescheduled for next week since the birthday boy came down with strep throat. Tomorrow we're driving to Watertown to help celebrate my niece Hailey's first birthday. All in all, I'm so thankful that every day is a new day with blessings of its own, and I'm praying for an easier week this coming week so that I can relax and start breathing again. Now I'm sending myself to bed, hoping that I'll be able to get back to sleep.

Young Love Update

Jordan's friend Mya came over after school yesterday. Jordan was so excited all weekend about it. Yesterday morning he came down for breakfast wearing a WI Badger sweatshirt. He informed me that he wore that shirt to Mya's when he went there to play, and she loves Bucky Badger and she chased him around all day, so he thought she would chase him around all day that day too. Then he said, "I'm going to stand by Mya in line, and I'm going to sit by Mya on the bus. That's my plan for the day." After breakfast he made me go upstairs with him to see how perfectly he'd made his bed and laid out his pajamas (which he never does) so that his room would be nice when Mya came over. There was a lot of talking and giggling and running around yesterday afternoon. When they finally sat down to color, I overheard Jordan telling Mya that God says you have to love everyone, and that means that he has to love her too.

On another note, I decided that I'm going to read the whole Bible, but I'm going to start with the New Testament. Today I was reading from Matthew 6, and the following passage really spoke to me (as anyone who knows me can imagine it would - since I do worry about money etc. rather a lot): Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?...So do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough troubles of its own.

Young Love

The person Jordan talks about most from Kindergarten is his friend Mya. This is a picture that she made for him the other day. I think it's too cute not to share. (The back of the picture, in case you're wondering what the arrow leads to, is a graph that Mya drew. Because, as Jordan's recent schoolwork stated, "Graphing is Cool!".)

The day that Jordan came home with a list of all his classmates' phone numbers he asked if he could call Mya. He was on the phone for about 5 minutes, silent most of the time. Occasionally I would hear him say "hello?". When he hung up I could tell he was really upset, and when I asked him what was wrong he broke down and started to cry. He told me that Mya wasn't saying anything so he didn't know what to say. It just about broke my heart, but I still could barely keep from laughing. It turns out that Mya didn't have much phone experience, but since then they've had some succesful telephone conversations.

Jordan was invited to Mya's birthday party, and he spent the ride home telling me the story of how he and Mya became friends.

I heard from Mya's mom that Mya likes Jordan because he's nice but sometimes when she goes over by him she sometimes doesn't know what to say. Jordan tells me constantly that everyone makes fun of his last name, except for Mya.

Jordan came home from school one day in December with two pictures of reindeer that another friend had colored for him. One had green eyes and one had brown eyes. He told me that one had his color eyes and the other had Mya's color eyes.

Jordan was extremely excited to spend a day at Mya's house over Christmas vacation, and can't wait to have Mya over to our house to play. Good thing he's got two sisters so he has plenty of practice playing Barbies, My Little Ponies and dress up!

No Fear

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." Romans 8:15-16

The other night I was having a panic attack. It was one of those moments when I realize clearly how sidetracked I have become by the insignificant details of life, and my fear for the future (my own and that of my loved ones) becomes overwhelming. I was sitting in the bathroom crying, hyperventilating and praying when I found these words.

And so I've determined to let go of fear. Fear that if I'm myself people won't like me. Fear that if I don't maintain control of everything and everyone around me life will fall apart. Fear that I'm making the wrong decisions every step of the way. Fear of so many other things. I want to change the way I live my life. I want to do what I know is right and trust God to take care of the rest.